Are you shitting me? This is mine.

Sup B. Gambling here on my new favorite day of the week. And what do you know it! In the early stages of tonight's adventure things were indeed looking ominous for my ego, wallet, and self-esteem. But suddenly my prospects have been given a little hope as tonight's challenges have progressed.

The profoundly evil New York Yankees are doing me good as Mark Teixeira has just tied the Anaheim Angels by carving them up with the precision of a world renowned heart surgeon who undoubtedly studied at UPMC medical school. And hooray for that! Ye yeah.

Now my ingenious ploy to get myself a free funded flight and game ticket to commit extremely addictive and disturbing behavior doesn't look like such a pipe dream as some known doubters professed. And hell yeah! The second squad in tonight's ripe peach of a parlay, the equally evil Florida State Seminoles, just cut into their early deficit in Chapel Hill. Rashaan Salaam! This gambling doctor's prognosis looks good!

If my dark prediction rings true I will most definitely be able to cover live and in color the unveiling of the Denver Broncos for you. It will be an exposure though dudes. And barring any severe injuries for my heroes before the big Monday Night pantsing in the Rockies, it will probably be an indecent one at that. The Denver Broncos and their snot nosed brat coach Joshua McDaniels are an astounding 6 and o as I write this in the year of our lord 2009. How is this possible!? What is going on!? Who is doing this!? Is what you are asking. Well for the life of me, much like the rest of the blood thirsty, maggot eating vultures that call themselves the NFL nation, I cannot tell you bud. I mean they have a few unknown badasses on their underrated defense, but other than luck I do not have a logical reason as to how this travesty has come abaht.

Anyways, that don't matter now B, cuz Florida State just brought it within 5 before the start of the 4th quarter and I will be there for you, when, before a national audience on cable television and illegal worldwide internet streams, the heroic and mighty Pittsburgh Steelers show the world what Denver is actually packin'. They say numbers don't lie but I have a sneaking suspicion that whomever made that statement first, had a miserable little pecker. Ah yes, it will be a truly vicious and undoubtedly unrewarding assignment, but I will of course be there for you.

Even though this evening looks surely to be going to be a gut wrenching, teeth grinding, drag aht, knock 'em dahn slobberknocker; my confidence shall not stagger. Only for the sheer reason that it is not acceptable in the pursuit of victory. It cannot be tolerated. And you can trust that it won't. As long as it is close of course. In terms of sport, that means if the Yankees go dahn any more than 4 again, I am probably screwed. And for the State school in Florida, a deficit increase by any more than 2 scores will surely break my back on this bloody evening.

Unlike our nobel President, who faces a key moment in the legacy that he will leave as the unfortunate soul who took the hurlers from Big Texas Oil off the mound. Now coming in for relief! From Wall Street, by way of Corrupt Chicago Real Estate, Barack Obama! Obama!

Obama will not show he has lost. He most definitely can't. Too much at stake for some folks who are more sick and depraved in their gambling habits than me or you. It's virtually not even his decision to make. But in reality it is. But that reality is not somewhere this hypnotic lawyer lives. He has his own that he shares with his financially polarizing cohorts. The world of big business. Somewhere that makes betting the mortgage on the Yankees to clinch look like a wager made on a public basketball court in Venice Beach. These are REAL gambling addicts B. It's a sick life to live as a business man.

Why do you think Obama dresses like he does? He's not an every man. He's a business man. All the world's indeed a stage and he dresses the part. He has business interests at heart. So don't go thinking any of that money is going towards you going to the doc bozo.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! watch aht nah Bud, you're dahn in this baseball game and you're football match has a huge 3rd and medium comin' up. Off the politics and focus man!

Sha Sha. Seminole stop. Carolina settles for 3. Touchdahn wins it. Better set the fruitcup baby bro's Mac dahn and put some attention in. It's been real. Remember; don't lose confidence! You will win. Anything less than victory is unacceptable. Aht.

Hallelujah Holler Back

As I am scoffing at the 'Stache for allowing Stull to throw to the Polish Power with an 11 point lead in the red zone, thought's of BCS glory refuse to escape my head. The Big East is a power. Get it through your feeble little skulls. And with Pitt sitting in the thrown, the Big East wields the mightiest sword.

Now back from my brief, yet frequent haze of homeboy fever.

But when I do take a long hard look at the lack of attention the Fightin' Nordies get, I can only blame one group of inadequate and underachieving jag offs; and those are the Panther Pundits.

You are the source of all their, er, our problems.

There is no big fight feel on a Friday night before a Panther Prowl down to the North Shore. The lack of blind allegiance is also quite disturbing. And where are the hell are the innocuous traditions? There's no extended chanting or battle cries echoing from the Frick building to Mt. Warshington. No face painting or body altering. Never have I seen a tattoo of the original Pitt script on the bicep of a 'roided out English Lit major. Or even in the tramp stamp region of one of the pleasantly plump co-eds.

All I am saying is that if you want the attention you gotta ask for it. And not with a raised hand. That is NOT how things are done around here, as you may have noticed.

Roast a living animal. Sacrifice a graduate assistant from a rival school. Get noticed. If they can do it in the south there's no reason we can't do it in the City of Champions.

No more excuses. It's the only way we're going to get that mano e mano showdown with those bastards who stole Joe Namath from us oh so many years ago. We owe that generation at least that much.

Piss on me and call me Saphire! I just lifted my head up and see our boys are up 25. That's a cover. Well at least the 'Stache is doing his part. Let's help him aht a bit, eh? Homework........

After class this week, randomly start a Genac genee Allegenablahblah chant on Forbes or Fifth, or wherever you are. Act like a fucking loon. Stir it up. I can't win any money with us playing on Friday nights anymore. Time for primetime. It's up to you!

Good talk see ya aht there.