Memoirs of a Manwich: Week 2 and How to Chief for Free

Skippy! Skippy! Skippy!

Although he's no Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr, Jeff Reed forced Yinzers to put the shot glass down and sit in bitter sobriety as he missed two potential game winning field golds at cold and wet Soldier Field.

Making the rounds on the internets, I've noticed that some of the respected news and rumor sources, have made an attempt to appeal to the lowest common towel waving halushki consumer.

The Headline on profootballtalk.com, a site created by a Western PA lawyer, reads:

WILL THE STEELERS PUT JEFF REED ON A SHORT LEASH?

Now I understand these headlines that Mike Florio puts up need to generate interest for his new NBC boss's, and appealing to angry Yinzers is of course the wise and logical tactic.

Howeva!

I will contend, that the Yinzers Florio and crew think they know, have evolved. This ain't Philly son.

Jeff Reed did miss 38 and 43 yard field goals. They did go wide left and they would have most likely have resulted in victory for the Black and Gold. He blew it indeed! No less than a week after a clutch kick in OT too. So goes life as a kicker.

Sports talkers from Cranberry to Wroclaw will not panic though. Florio and his masters expect us to, but we're smarter than that. Why? Well first off, we know how special Skippy is. Contrary to the years of marijuana and whiskey abuse, Yinzer Universe has a fantastic memory; and they remember that prior to when Reed came in, the Steelers were being sabotaged from within by suspected Cleveland Browns operative Kris Brown.

Skippy shit the bed, but San Antonio Homos droppin' balls didn't help. Cutler feeling like 1999 Kurt Warner with Orlando Pace giving him days to whizz the ball to studs like Johnny Knox and Devin Aromashadu didn't help either.

As a certain aviator wearing bad ass would tell you, "We play all 60 minutes as one unit, and the play of one individual does not reflect what we do as a group; we respect that."

Fact is Florio, you're evil Jedi Mind Tricks to stir up the shit in Da Burgh will not work. Not anymore. There is a reason why we are the city of champions. In order to obtain victory a city must let it's coaches coach, which, as you can see by the glow from the trophy cases on the Southside, is what we do here.

Yinzer Universe will not panic. Reed blew this one, but we know he can make the kicks. We will chalk this one up to some circumstances that were not to our maximum benefit, move on, and go to work. We respect the weather conditions, and the ability of the Bears to keep themselves in the game even though they were outmatched talent wise. Panic is for losers. Coffee is for closers. Skippy will get his Venti Frapaccino, don't trip.

Stan, Guy, Love the Show!

Not!

As we are in the midst of arguably the greatest era in the annals of Pittsburgh Sports, we are simultaneously experiencing a Great Depression as Pittsburgh Sports Talkers.

Maybe that's how goes it. We swap quality on our airwaves for quality on the field and ice.

In '06 after the prophet, savior, and voice and choice of our generation; one Mr. Mark Madden, had his inevitable heart attack, coincidentally, our town tasted victory for the first time in many many years.

Then last year, after the suits finally caved in to the jagoff advertisers and fired the Super Genius for comments made about former alcoholic Senator and Billy Mays' newest roommate Ted Kennedy; Yinzer Universe saw it's best year since '79.

I'm not trying to come up with conspiracy theories here, I just want to point out the fact that while we are loving our lives with the success of the Steelers, Pens, Pitt hoops, and the Passion; we are being inundated with written and spoken diarrhea in our local media.

Our voice has been exiled to a rock n' roll radio station, where we are forced to hear Creed and Nickelback in between the shortened takes Mr. Madden bestows upon us.

The truth hath been hijacked.

Having to dig through evangelical christian rock just to get a sane opinion is a bitch slap in the face of all serious Pittsburgh Sports Talkers and we mustn't stand for it.

It has always been tough to get competence in the 412 when it comes to our media members. For every Ed Bouchette, there's a Bob Smizik, Ron Cook, and Gerry Dulac. We are graced by legends on the radio like Double M and Myron Cope; yet they are only on for a limited time, while the rest of the day we must hear from jokes like Eddie Crow, posers like Joe Bendel, and snoozers like Stan and Guy.

If we are going to hold our clubs to such high standards, it is only right to hold those who are lucky enough to report and speak about them in our media to an equal standard. While we still thrive in play-by-play and color categories for all teams(once again excluding the Buccos), our newspapers and radio shows need an overhaul.

Until then here are some alternative strategies........

-Go to mondesishouse.blogspot.com. By far the most trustworthy, honest, and all inclusive site for all things Yinzer.

-Boycott ESPN 1250. ESPN networks, nationwide, refuse to place any non-robotic, non-ass kisser, non-corporate swine on their airwaves. They own the media.......DON"T LET THEM OWN YOU!

-Comb through the information super highway. Search for some truth online, it's our last refuge.

-Call in to Fox Sports Shows and demand them to put quality talent on-air. Threaten them. They know they can't compete with ESPN, they will do anything to catch up; they are whores. Say that Joe Bendel and those other bums are not the quality you expect from such an established organization. Demand personalities, the city is full of 'em.

-Write letters to the editors of the Trib and Post Gazette saying that you have read for years and have grown tired of the stale writing in the sports columns. Ask for fresh takes. Make sure to praise the finest football writer in America though. Ed Bouchette having to share a page with Bob Smizik is a disgrace.

Change won't come until we make it happen.


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